Guilty Beauty Love
by Moonchild10
Summary: Haruhi learns that life as Tamaki Suoh's mistress is more complicated than she could have imagined, but in the end, he is worth it. One-shot


_Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran, sadly._

_This was originally inspired by GizmoBunny's fic "Fruit" which is at the moment my all-time favorite TamaHaru oneshot. I've always, always wanted to write a fic about Haruhi being Tamaki's mistress, and I finally got the boost I needed. So, this fic is dedicated both to Suddenkiss and to the lovely GizmoBunny.  
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_For those of you not familiar with the manga: Ayame is not an OC. She makes a brief appearance in episode 24 but she has a slightly more important role in the manga XD I tried to write her how she'd be when she was all grown up, and it was a challenge.  
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Ayame feels, for lack of a better word, sick. She stares across the dinner table at Tamaki, who is cheerful and oblivious and chattering away over his steak. She had not noticed until this morning how halfhearted his kisses always were, how he never opened his eyes when they made love, and how there was an empty feeling behind his words of emotion.

"Is something wrong, Aya?" he asks innocently from across the table, his indigo eyes filled with concern that is genuine. It feels like a cold dart to the heart. Though he loves someone else, she knows he cares deeply for her, even if it is in a strictly platonic way. There is evidence of this in his expression even now.

"I know… about Haruhi," she says softly, and for a moment Tamaki looks too shaken to speak.

"Oh. Oh, Ayame… I…" he looks mortally wounded and quite sorry, and it is difficult for her to be angry with him, but she forces herself because it is much easier than being hurt.

"I know your grandmother and my parents arranged this whole thing but… we're supposed to be married, Tamaki!" she stands up, slamming her fists down on the table. "You think just because you don't love me means you have some right to go running around with someone else like you don't have a care in the world and it's justified because she's a commoner or something!?"

Tamaki has gotten up, and he tries to hold her, but she pushes him away. "Ayame, I…"

"Don't! Just _don't_!" she snaps.

Defeated, Tamaki sighs. His posture slumps and his eyes look to the floor. "I'm sorry, Ayame. I never meant to hurt you. This shouldn't have happened. But… I know you don't love me romantically either anymore. I know that died out when we were still in high school. I know it's mostly your pride that's wounded. But even that is not acceptable for me to wound as your husband, and I apologize."

"Wh--what?" Ayame blinks unbelievingly at him. She is surprised that he was able to read her so easily. She wonders when he wormed his way beneath her skin. It seems immoral to her that he can be having an affair and yet still know his wife so intimately.

"And the fact that she is a commoner… has nothing to do with it. Ayame, I love Haruhi. I've loved her since the day we met. Nothing is every going to make me stop loving her. I'm very, very sorry you had to get caught up in this. Knowing the way I feel I… never should have led you on by agreeing to marry you. It was wrong of me."

"It really was," she turns away and refuses to look at that handsome face of his for another moment. "And what are we going to do about this? What happens now?"

Tamaki clears his throat, and she can tell that he is crying by the soft sounds that come out and by the shaking of his hand as he places it on her shoulder and rubs there gently. "I… think we should get a divorce. "

* * *

Haruhi cannot breathe, cannot move, cannot think. She stares down at the positive pregnancy test in her hand with a mixture of horror and happiness. Horror because Tamaki is married to the perfect high-society woman of his grandmother's choosing and Haruhi is merely his mistress, and she knows any child they have will be doomed to the same fate as Tamaki himself; as good as ostracized by his critical and illustrious family. Happy because as selfish as she finds it, with a child between them, she knows that she and Tamaki will always have _some_ sort of connection, even if the affair ends.

"Hello, my love," Tamaki's breath slides down the back of her neck and his hands slide down her bare thighs. "How are you this morning?"

Haruhi does not want to look at him. He is so happy and so oblivious, flitting around the small apartment the two share when he is pretending to be at a business conference. She does not want to crush his spirit, but it is something that must be done, and slowly she closes her eyes and bites the bullet.

"I'm pregnant," she chokes, getting it over with as quickly as she can.

Tamaki does not freeze as she expects. He simply presses a kiss to the back of her neck and whispers, as softly as though he is speaking to a child, "I know."

"You _know_? I just found out five minutes ago. How could you possibly know?"

"I know your body, ma chere," Tamaki whispers, sliding his hands onto her stomach and leaving them there, warm and safe and comforting.

"That's silly," Haruhi mutters, still flustered and a bit scared as she leans against him and feels his warm nakedness against her back. They rarely wear clothes when they are together; having cloth separating them when they need each other so often seems trivial to them both. "It's just illogical. You can't _tell_ when someone is pregnant just by looking."

"It's not about looking. It's about _feeling_. I know you. I know how your aura is different when you're sick or sad or even pregnant. Don't argue with me, Haruhi. I know what I'm talking about when it comes to you." he kisses her cheek so gently she swears she will break.

"Fine. But what are we going to do?" she asks, and Tamaki kisses her again, so uncharacteristically calm that it makes up for the panic that resides just behind her eyes. "This is such a bad situation. I don't want an abortion, but given the circumstances…"

"We're going to have a baby, that's what we're going to do," Tamaki says thoughtfully, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"But Tamaki, what about--"

"I filed for divorce last night," he says solemnly, rocking her gently. "It's high time I stop sacrificing our happiness to appease my grandmother."

Haruhi wants to stop him, wants to talk some sense into him, but she smiles because she can't. He has taken her breath away.

* * *

"I gave up being the Suoh heir," Tamaki announces proudly over breakfast, and Haruhi chokes on her coffee, staring up at him incredulously. She is shaken by the declaration, but he is calmly eating his French toast as though he just announced the weather.

"You did _what?"_ she asks, wide-eyed, gaping at him and not quite sure what to think. She realizes she must look rather comical, but she doesn't care.

"I gave up my position as successor to the Suoh company," he tells her with a smile, leaning forward and resting his chin in his hand. At 23 years old, he is even more charmingly attractive than he was as a Host, and he bats his eyelashes at her. "Don't tell me you're disappointed in me, Haruhi."

"Disappointed, no. Shocked, yes," she sets her coffee down and gives him her full attention. "Why would you do something so frivolous? You're giving up your whole future…"

"_You_ are my future," he declares passionately, taking one of her hands in his and making her drop her fork. "It wasn't frivolous; I put a lot of thought into it. I've been thinking if I should do it since third year. If I'm head of the company… I can't have the life I want… a life with you."

"Tamaki… what do you--"

"Haruhi Fujioka, will you marry me?"

For a moment, Haruhi can barely think straight. She stares at him over her plate of toast, barely daring to believe this moment is real before he stands up and lifts her from her chair, picking her up bridal style and kissing her passionately.

"Please say yes, Haruhi! I'll die if you don't!"

Haruhi knows he is being serious despite the melodrama, and slowly she nods her head. "Yes. I… I'll marry you." she gives him a playful look. "Did you really think I could ever say no to you?"

"I love you so much!" Tamaki shouts, kissing her again and spinning around until her brain swirls and she laughs, clinging on for dear life and for happiness.

* * *

Haruhi finds that the rapid transition of going from Tamaki's pregnant mistress to his fiancé is not nearly as disconcerting as she would have imagined. She is used to life moving like a whirlwind when she is with him, and she settles comfortably into the new arrangement, happy with the fact they can finally be really together.

There is no sneaking, no dishonesty, and no guilt. She can wake up in the morning in the bright, airy house the two of them recently bought together, and he will be in bed beside her, smiling warmly at her as he watches her sleep. Other mornings he will be in the bright kitchen, singing softly along to a love song that he comments reminds him of her on the radio as he makes an omelet for her in nothing but his socks. Life seems like a happy dream. When Haruhi comes home from work, Tamaki is there waiting for her, his arms outstretched to take her in. There are no longer goodbyes where he holds her tearfully before he must go home to his obligations as a husband and pretends he is not crying.

The two of them can take all the time in the world now when they make love or when they hold each other, and more often than not Tamaki falls asleep as they watch television in bed with his head resting on her stomach, wanting desperately to feel the baby kicking. Life is full of pleasure, and Haruhi has never honestly been so content. It feels for the first time ever like she has everything she could ever want and need, and she feels grateful for every moment the two spend with each other, as though each one is a gift she had always wanted but had never dreamed she could really receive.

She thinks of Ayame often, and it is with a heavy sense of guilt that she wonders what it must feel like to be left that way. She does not feel that Tamaki was malicious in doing so, but it is impossible not to wish that somehow, things could have ended without his ex-wife getting hurt. It must be a cold and bitter feeling the woman is experiencing, and so it is a surprise to Haruhi that Ayame accepts her lunch invitation. The two of them meet on the sunny veranda of a cheap and charming café Haruhi frequents, and Ayame views her curiously over her sandwich.

"How is Tamaki?" she asks, and Haruhi takes a sip at her weak tea (coffee has started making her sick now that she is farther along in her pregnancy) and thinks before she answers.

"I think… he's happy," she replies finally, smiling a little guiltily. "Ayame… we've known each other for so long. I feel really guilty for everything that's happened. I'm sorry that… you got hurt."

"Stop being sorry," Ayame says almost demandingly, taking a long drink of her iced tea. "It's not your fault that you're the one who makes Tamaki happier than anyone else. I should have noticed… the way he's always acted around you. The way he danced with you so long at our wedding… that tender smile he gave you… it's not your fault. I hated you both for a while but now I see there's no sense in it. He's happy, and I've moved on. Now I can marry whoever I want. It's not my parents' choice anymore."

"You're very philosophical," Haruhi smiles at her and thinks fondly back on the days when she entertained Ayame as her Host. "I hope you'll be really happy. Thank you… for being so forgiving."

"It's on one condition, though, that forgiveness," Ayame tells her, and Haruhi gives her a questioning look, at which Ayame smiles. "Love him and with everything you've got."

* * *

The morning is sunny, and Tamaki wakes feeling happier than he could have imagined. He gives his wife a quick kiss on the forehead before venturing outside. The sunshine is warm on his bare body, and he takes a long, leisurely swim in the cool water of the pool and enjoys the contrast, taking pleasure in the simplest of things. When he swims to the side, Haruhi is waiting for him with a towel, and the two share a smile after he climbs out of the water. She has put on a simple lavender sundress, and he cannot help but muse on how beautiful he finds her at this moment and comment on it.

"It's hard to really look beautiful when you're this pregnant," Haruhi laughs warmly and instinctively brushes a hand over her belly as he towels off his wet hair and body. "But you're sweet for saying so."

"I really, really do think so!" he whines, clinging to her. "I always think you're beautiful! You look beautiful no matter what!"

"Alright, alright!" Haruhi tries to brush him off, and he whines more until she gives in and lets him snuggle up to her. "You're getting me all wet," she complains, though she wraps her arms loosely around him.

"It wouldn't be the first time…" he says a little suggestively, narrowing his eyes, and Haruhi takes the towel from him and swats him with it. "Owwwww… Haruhiiiiiiii…"

"That didn't hurt," she tells him, and he grins happily as she kisses his cheek and forgets about his momentary lapse in joy. His hand strays to her stomach, where he rubs gentle circles over his future child and nuzzles against his wife.

"You're due any day now, right?" he asks, his eyes sparkling, and Haruhi nods.

"Give or take a few weeks, my due date is coming up."

"I can't wait!" Tamaki can't stop himself from fantasizing excitedly about what life will be like when the two of them have a child, and when he comes back to earth, Haruhi is watching him with a strangely sentimental look on her face. "What is it?" he asks her, and she presses a little closer, placing a hand on top of his on her belly.

"I love you so much…" she whispers, and he smiles, resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes and feeling a tingle of joy as it runs the length of his body.

"I love you too," when he kisses her, there is that sense of floating he has experienced around her since he was seventeen years old, and he smiles happily against her lips. "We both have the day off. What do you want to do?"

"I don't care…" she mutters, brushing a lock of his hair back and gazing at him for a moment. "We're spending the day together, so what we do doesn't matter to me."

"Then we can go for a walk in the garden?" Tamaki asks, sweeping a gesture toward the garden that covers nearly a third of the sprawling grounds of their large home, which is bursting with blooms at this time of year.

"Yeah, that sounds nice," Haruhi muses. "But you've got to promise to clean up the mess if I give birth on the garden path."

Tamaki giggles. "Anything for you, my love," he says grandly, taking her arm in his and leading her toward the garden, his chest bursting with love and joy and excitement for the future. As he starts to hum merrily and is aware of Haruhi laughing at him, he closes his eyes and turns his face skyward toward the warm sun. He is vastly aware of the fact that this is exactly the way things should be.


End file.
